Boy Besties

Not all guys are duds- some are fabulously fabulous friends that you adore and don't ever get bored of- they are always up for a Sunday Funday or will try that new bbq and whiskey restaurant you want to go to but all of your girlfriends hate whiskey or bbq (how this is possible is anyone's guess). They also are amazing at giving you good new music- some are friends from work, some friends from high school and some that you just picked up along the way- but they provide you with some of the best new (or classic) music that you could hope for- like rap music months before it hits mainstream (who doesn't feel cool knowing all the words to a supposedly new song?) or they tell you to listen to Astral Weeks (Van Morrison) when you just need to wind down.  They are 100% drama-free and never take you for granted.

Some are peanuts (note- apparently calling a guy you are dating 'peanut' can be construed at demeaning or unmanly...  I know, I know, I was as shocked as you are)- peanuts are usually smaller in stature and perfect gentlemen (yes, they can be fratty and fun, but at heart, they are the guys that you wish you had a friend to set them up with) and someone you could never date. Peanutty Peanuts are just those friends that you love being around- they are unassuming and sweet- smart and darling. Again, most guys don't appreciate this description so I keep it to myself and file them away as 'darling peanuts angels'.

I made the mistake of calling a guy I dated (to be discussed in a later post) peanut and angel. As he was still taller than me when I wore my six-inch-leg-crippling-foot-punishing pumps, I can understand him not loving the whole peanut moniker- but angel? That was a little depressing to find out.

Buddies are a blast- you watch basketball with your buddy, you can grab a burger with your buddy (if he gets it medium-well or ::gasp:: well-done, rethink this friendship) and most importantly, you can kick your buddy's buddy's butt in a chugging contest without fear of any judgement- more likely just jealously.  Buddy's are great for cookouts (they man the grill (well they actually own the grill, too- which is vital for a cookout)).

Boy Besties- who doesn't love a boy bestie? You can ask them all of your questions or just vent about annoyances about duds and they will give you feed back (though sometimes it's definitely not what you want to hear)- they are all of the great and wonderful things that a friend can be and provide zero drama and unconditional love (in their own boy-bestie kind of way- note, this is drastically different than girl friends- boy besties usually show their love by always being DTP and RTR (ready to rage).

These guys can be thought of as chocolate chip cookies, snickerdoodles, or most accurately (on the thought of sweets) cake batter truffles. 
Cake batter truffles are small delicious morsels of magic that taste like heaven and take about five seconds to make.  Much like a guy friend, they are easy, fun, make you smile and are great at parties.

Cake Batter Truffles (adapted from "The Girl Who Ate Everything")

1 ½ cups flour

1 cup yellow cake mix

½ cup unsalted butter, softened

½ cup white sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/8 teaspoon salt

3-4 Tablespoons milk

2 Tablespoons sprinkles

Truffle Coating:

16 ounces (8 squares) almond bark (or white candy melts)

4 Tablespoons yellow cake mix

sprinkles


Beat together butter and sugar using an electric mixer until combined. Add cake mix, flour, salt, and vanilla and mix thoroughly. Add 3 Tablespoons of milk or more if needed to make a dough consistency (I ended up added more than a fourth of a cup of milk- just add until it comes together). Mix in sprinkles by hand. Roll dough into one inch balls and place on a parchment or wax paper lined cookie sheet. Chill balls in the refrigerator for 15 minutes to firm up- I tossed them in the freezer because they were a little too soft to work with.

While dough balls are chilling, melt almond bark in the microwave in 30 second intervals until melted. Stir between intervals. Once melted, quickly stir in cake mix until incorporated completely. Using a fork, dip truffles into almond bark and shake of excess bark by tapping the bottom of the fork on the side of your bowl. Place truffle back on the cookie sheet and top with sprinkles. Repeat with remaining balls until finished.  As I found out, do NOT reheat the truffle covering with the cake mix in it- it melts unevenly and doesn't provide the nice shiny coating you want.

Chill cake batter truffles in the refrigerator until serving. Makes around 24-30 truffles.

 

Enjoy!

The Tart Herself

I love all food. I will try anything twice (once is never enough) and usually add it to my "ohmygosh this is delish" list of foods.  There are some things that I won't ever crave (brussel sprouts- cliche, I know, but it doesn't mean I won't eat them) or things I prefer not to have (fish with bones- mainly because I want to savor my food and not fight for it).  But really, I love all food. 
I am usually a neutral person when it comes to meeting someone new. I try to lean to the positive side, thinking that everyone can bring *something* to the table... granted there are some people you love the second you meet- they either remind you of your long lost best friend or are the daughter of a Nebraskan meat farmer (this would be my ideal bff) and others you dislike (they remind you of the girl your ex cheated on you with- irrational, but you can't help it!). 
People can go up (and they usually do) or they can plummet- it can take weeks or months to figure out where someone sits, or it can take hours.
As we've now established that I love food and I like (most) people... what's the point? The point is that a lot of the people I don't like haven't done anything to me. But that is the point- they haven't done anything. They are a dud. A person can be a dud for any of the following reasons:
- they don't call/text you back
- their conversational skills are limited to where bitsy and kent are getting married and how they stayed in last weekend because their 'sig other' was too busy to go out with them 
-they rely on anyone other than themselves to have fun
-for males- they use more than one ! in a text, i.e. Hey! What do you think you're doing later today? Do you want to hang out?! I'd love to see you! Let's hang out! That would be fun! Let me know if you can hang! Text or call me back! Whatever's easier!  (sadly, that's a real text...)
-people that make excuses for things that don't need it (the guy that sent the above text is 26 and was telling us how he doesn't go out that much any more because 'he's old now'- in what world is 26 old? he's not old, he's just a dud)
-Anyone with a lackluster personality (someone that you would rather have NOT talk then listen to them and for me silence is almost never golden)
There are other types of people, we all know people that drive you crazy and if you never saw again, that'd be too soon.  Duds aren't like that because they don't ignite that kind of passion.
There are the weirdos that we all know- this is a large category and pretty much anyone can fall into it, but the main culprits are people that facebook chat you at all hours of the day to ask 'hey how have you been? it's been a long time', weirdos can also be guys that tell you they cheated on their ex girlfriend dozens of times, but it was ok because she got fat (how, oh how could someone ever actually say this?!)  There are plenty more types of weirdos, like the guy that you met once, hung out with all night and then told you he was having an out of God moment and was going back to Cali next week. Then he texted you asking you to come visit him (um what?).
There are fillers- people that are... nice- not much more than that. They are the fake green grass in an Easter basket. You need the grass to keep everything else in place, but it's interchangeable to the other colors or even tissue paper. You can toss it if you get a smaller basket or add more if the basket's huge (but then you'd def want more treats).  These people are good at parties or events when you need a certain number- they are even good on weekend trips- they don't cause drama and go with the flow.
Value Adds- Usually friends of friends and people that you don't know very well- they are any of the following funny, energetic, generous, wild, passionate, big drinkers, crazy, good planners have connections or are just all around fabulously fun.
Sadly, most of the guys that we date seem to fall into the dud category. While they are duds, there is something about them that stood out to us in the first place. Some duds you won't ever hear about because they didn't even make the cut, but other guys need their story told, and how better to tell it than through food? and who better to tell it than the Tart Next Door?